Children Coping With Grief and Dying

The following books all deal with aspects of grief and loss from the perspective of children. Please visit your local library, children's bookshop, or other retail book outlet, for all questions of availability or ordering. I invite anyone who wishes to forward an update or more thorough review of any book for inclusion on this page to contact me at this e-mail address: leeanne@leeanne.com

For Very Young Children

Everett Anderson's Goodbye

by Lucille Clifton

Published by Henry Holt (An Owlet book), 1983

ISBN 0-8050-0800-4

This little picture book goes through the stages of grief in very few words and big pictures.

Badger's Parting Gift

by Susan Varley

Published by Mulberry Books, 1984

ISBN 0-688-11518-7

Old Badger gives parting gifts to his friends.

Remember the Secret

by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Published by Celestial Arts

ISBN 0-89087-332-1
ISBN 0-89087-524-3

A book about death and grief with a more religious background and message.

Lifetimes: The Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Children

by Bryan Mellonie and Robert Ingpen

Published by Bantam Books, 1993

ISBN 0-553-34402-1

A book about natural lifetimes in all creatures and the fact that sometimes those lives are cut short by accident.

The Blue Pearls

by Elizabeth Stuart Warfel
Illustrated by Véronique Giarrusso

Published by Barefoot Books, 2001

ISBN 1-902283-78-3

A beautifully-illustrated book written by a mother who lost her adult daughter to cancer. The story relates a dream of angels searching for the blue pearls needed to finish the lovely dress a woman will receive when she arrives in heaven. The woman is granted a little extra time to love and play with her three daughters while the angels search for the three pearls. A good book for a read-aloud book for very young children, allowing an adult care-giver to discuss death from a religious viewpoint.

I Had a Friend Named Peter:
Talking to Children About the Death of a Friend

by Janice Cohn, D.S.W.
Illustrated by Gail Owens

Published by William Morrow and Company, 1987

ISBN 0-688-06685-2

Betsy's friend Peter has been struck by car and killed. Her parents explain what death is and what will happen. Betsy and her friends at school make pictures of Peter and decide that as long as they remember him, Peter will always be with them in a special way.

I'll Always Love You

by Hans Wilhelm

Published by Crown Publishers (A Dragonfly Book), 1985

ISBN 0-517-57265-6

A boy's dog dies and the boy realises that you never stop loving your dog, or anyone, even when they die.

Mending Peter's Heart

by Maureen Whitbold
Illustrated by Larry Salk

Published by Portunus Publishing, 1995

ISBN

A boy's dog dies and he is helped through his anger and hurt by his grandfather who describes his own love for his wife and his belief that they will all be reunited in a very good place where there isn't any pain.

The Cemetery Quilt

by Kent and Alice Ross

Published by Houghton Mifflin

A very wise story of a girl who goes to her grandfather's funeral and talks to her grandmother about death and how she feels about it.

The Saddest Time

by Norma Simon

Published by Albert Whitman Prairie Books

This book contains three short stories about different kinds of death and grief, an uncle with a terminal illness, a classmate killed in an accident, and a grandparent.

The Tenth Good Thing About Barney

by Judith Viorst
Illustrated by Erik Blevgard

Published by Aladdin Paperbacks, 1971

ISBN 0-689-71203-0

A very good book about death and the sad feelings of a little girl coming to terms with the death of her cat with the help of her father. Ages 5-9

The Key Into Winter

by Janet S. Anderson
Illustrated by David Soman

Published by Albert Whitman Prairie Books, 1994

ISBN 0-8075-4170-2

This is a magical story about a household in which there are four keys which open the seasons. A young girl hides the key into winter to prevent her grandmother's approaching death. It is an allegory for the natural cycles of life and coming to terms with grief and loss and learning to hope.

Annie and the Old One

by Miska Miles
Illustrated by Peter Parnall

Published by Little, Brown, and Company, 1971

ISBN 0-316-57120-2

Annie's grandmother has told her Navaho family that she is preparing to die. She will live until the latest rug is finished and asks her loved ones what gift they wish to keep. Annie chooses her grandmother's weaving stick but she panics at the thought of her grandmother's death. Although she works on the rug, every night she unravels all the work which has been done that day. At last, her grandmother explains that death is part of a natural cycle, an integral part of creation. Annie understands and begins to weave the rug again.

Newbury Honor Book
ALA Notable Children's Book
Christopher Award

When Dinosaurs Die: a Guide to Understanding Death

by Laurie Krasny Brown and Marc Brown

Published by Little, Brown and Company, 1996

ISBN 0-316-10917-7

A multicultural look at dying and the customs that surround it

Dribbles

by Connie Heckert

Published by Clarion Books, 1994

ISBN 0-395-62336-7 HC

An old cat comes into a family and later dies. The remaining cats miss the old one and are very sad but realise that death is part of life.

A Fish In His Pocket

by Denys Cazet

A boy deals with the accidental death of a fish which he, without meaning to, helped contribute to.

The Fall of Freddie the Leaf

by Leo Buscaglia, PhD

Published by Slack, 1982

ISBN 0-943432-89-8 Slack
ISBN 0-8050-1064-5 Henry Holt

Natural cycles of life and death discussed in simple terms by a cultural icon.

The Mountains of Tibet: A Child's Journey Through Living and Dying

by Mordicai Gerstein

Published by Barefoot Books, Ltd., 1987

ISBN 1-898000-45-X

Tibetan Buddhist teachings on life and death in picture book form.

Why the Snowman Melts

by Diane Harvey
Designed and illustrated by Amy Paulson

Published by Sandstone Publishing., 2010

ISBN 978-0-615-36790-3

A non-threatening picture book specifically designed to be worked through with a caregiver or counselor.

It tells the story of young children who are excited by the opportunity of a coming snowstorm to build a snowman they name Eddie.

They arrange everything, clothes, decorations, even involving neighborhood children in the activity.

Soon, though, the weather warms and the snowman starts to melt. The children are very sad, but their parents explain that nothing lasts forever, and that they have good memories of Eddie, and can plan to build a new snowman next year.

The book includes discussion questions, a selection of pictures which show various emotional states, and a pair of pictures with blank faces on which a child can draw their own feelings.

The metaphor is broad and flexible enough to work well with many types of grief and disappointment, and shows the importance of reaching out to friends and family when you are sad or troubled.

Haven’s Heaven

by Katie Grant
Illustrations by the Author

Published by Mirror Publishing, 2010

ISBN 978-1-936352-85-2

Not specifically addressed to issues of grief and loss, this vocabulary-controlled picture book for very young children is rather a generic story about questions, with a parent or caregiver presumably ready to provide more specific answers. It's written from a Christian perspective, and assures children that answers to all their questions lie in Heaven, and urges prayer. It's interactive in that it provides several blank pages on which the child is encouraged to write down their own questions, which the parent or caregiver can use as a springboard for further discussion.

For Older Children
or Children Working with Their Caregiver

About Dying:
An Open Family Book for Parents and Children Together

by Sara Bonnett Stein
Photos by Dick Frank

Published by Walker and Company, 1974

ISBN 0-8027-7223-4

A book for very young children which is meant to be worked through together with their parents or caregivers.

How It Feels When a Parent Dies

by Jill Krementz

A cooperative book for slightly older children.

Help For the Hard Times: Getting Through Loss

by Earl Hipp
Illustrated by L.K.Hanson

Published by Hazelden, 1995

ISBN 1-56838-085-2 PB

A self-help workbook for older children but valuable for younger children as well if only as a source of hints for things a caregiver could develop on their own.

Grief

by Laurie Beckleman

Crestwood House ( A Hotline Book), 1995

ISBN 0-382-24958-5

A book for adolescents and teenagers dealing with grief.

Part Of Me Died Too

by Virginia Lynn Fry

Published by Dutton Children's Books

ISBN 0-525-45068-8 HC

Children from a year and a half to eighteen deal with the death of beloved pets, parents, dear friends, siblings and other relatives. This book has lots of stories to tell, each helpful in its own way.

Tear Soup
A Recipe for Healing After Loss

by Pat Schweibert and Chuck DeKlyen
Illustrated by Taylor Bills

Published by Grief Watch, 1974

ISBN 978-0961519766

Excellent book for all ages, but meant to be worked through by or with an adult. The vocabulary is mature, and the print is… like a regular book — although accompanied by warm and welcoming illustrations — and encourages those who grieve to work through their own grief in their own way, with many helpful ‘recipes’ that the individual may find useful in their own situation.
56 pages
Winner of the Theologos Award, 2001

Daddy's Climbing Tree

by C.S. Adler

Published by Clarion Books, 1993

ISBN 0-395-63032-0 HC

Jessica, 11, takes her little brother Tycho to her grandparent's house to look for Daddy, who was struck and killed by a hit and run driver. She is sure that he is up in his favourite climbing tree, where he had told her that he had spent many happy hours growing up. But the grandparents don't live there anymore and Daddy isn't there either. She learns to look for his memory in her heart. This is meant for older children to read on their own.

When Something Terrible Happens: Children Learn to Cope With Grief

by Marge Heegaard

Published by Woodland Press

ISBN 0-9620502-3-7

A workbook to be illustrated by the child with pictures and colours. There are rough outlines to follow in a kind of free-form colouring book.

When Someone Very Special Dies: Children Learn to Cope With Grief

by Marge Heegaard

Published by Woodland Press

ISBN 0-9620502-0-2

A workbook to be illustrated by the child with pictures and colours. There are rough outlines to follow in a kind of free-form colouring book.

The Kids Book About Death and Dying: By and For Kids

by Eric E. Rofes and the Unit at Fayerweather School

Published by Little, Brown and Company

ISBN 0-316-75390-4

Children deal with death and dying.

The Grieving Child: A Parent's Guide

by Helen Fitzgerald

Published by Simon and Schuster, 1992

ISBN 0-671-76762-3

A book for parents or caregivers helping children to cope with grief.

"I Wish I Could Hold Your Hand —":
A Child's Guide to Grief and Loss

by Ed.D. Pat Palmer
Illustrated by Dianne O'Quinn Burke

Published by Impact Publishers, 1992

ISBN 978-0915166824

For older children facing loss and grief of many kinds, and suitable for almost any child when mediated by a parent or caregiver.

After A Suicide: Young People Speak Up

by Susan Kuklin

Published by G.P. Putnam's Sons, 1994

ISBN 0-399-22801-2

Teenagers deal with suicide of parents, family members, and friends.

When Heroes Die

by Penny Raife Durant

Published by Aladdin Books, 1992

ISBN 0-689-71835-7

Seventh grade Gary's life is pretty complicated already but when he finds out that his beloved uncle Bob has aids, things start to fall apart.

Good Night, Mr. Tom

by Michelle Magorian

Published by Harper Trophy Books, 1992

ISBN 0-06-440174-X

This is a complex novel for older readers. It tells the story of young Will Beech, a boy living in London in the days just before World War II. Will is hurting, badly abused by his harsh and bitter mother and evacuated alone from London to be fostered by a gruff old man, Tom Oakley. But Mr. Tom takes a shine to the boy, and young Will starts to blossom. He makes friends, especially his best friend Zach, and starts to develop his own gifts, a love of story and a talent for drawing. But then Will's mother turns up; she takes Will away to her own place, a squalid stinking hovel where the beatings begin again and Will starts to sink and wither into despair.

Mr. Tom manages to rescue the boy just in time. But just when things are looking brightest for Will, on the mend and happy again, more blows come. His mother commits suicide while incarcerated for her abuse of Will and for the negligent homicide of his young sister. And then, worst of all, Zach dies in an air raid.

Only when another mentor, a disabled artist who lost his leg, fiancee, and own best friend in the war, tells the story of how he kept his friend's pipe and thinks of him when he uses it, does Will start to fill the empty places inside with a realization of his love for Mr. Tom, his adopted Dad, his love for Zach, his dear friend, and the life that goes on, even when good people die. Will asks to have one of Zach's treasured possesions, so he too will have a remembrance, and begins to share his love with another friend who needs help. Will comes in from play and is filled with love for his Dad, Mr. Tom, while seeing clearly both his great age and the simple strength beneath his seeming frailty.

As C.S. Lewis once said, we are all, at last, surprised by joy. And in this poignant moment of Will's joy we see clearly the upward arc of his life, not perfect, but good, and sure to turn out right in the end.

Winner of the IRA Children's Book Award for 1982.

When a Grandparent Dies:
A Kid's Own Workbook for Remembering Shiva and the Year Beyond

by Nechama Liss-levinson, PhD

Published by Jewish Lights Publishing, 1995

ISBN 1-879045-44-3

The rituals surrounding death are clearly explained.

Books About Life-Threatening Illness

On The Wings Of A Butterfly: A Story About Life and Death

by Marilyn Maple

A story of a child with cancer.

I Have Cancer

by Althea

A story of a child with cancer.

Kathy's Hats: A Story of Hope

by Trudy Krisher
Illustrated by Nadine Bernard Westcott

Published by Albert Whitman and Company

ISBN 0-8075-4116-8

A story of a child with cancer and the hats she wears.

My Journey of Hope:
A Child's Guidebook for Living with Cancer

by Sarah Jean Kovar, Age 11

Published by Zondervan Publishing House

ISBN 0-310-37450-2

A personal story by a young girl with a life-threatening disease.

When I Die, Will I Get Better?

by Joeri and Piet Breebart

Published by Peter Bedrick Books, NY

ISBN 0-87226-375-4

A small child told this story of an animal family to his father after the serious illness and death of his little brother to help him understand and explain what happened.

Will I Still Have To Make My Bed In The Morning?

by Barry Rudner
Illustrated by Peggy Trabalka

Published by Art Print and Publishing Company

ISBN 0-925928-10-0

A child with a terminal illness wonders about dying.

When Someone Has a Very Serious Illness: Children Can Learn to Cope With Grief and Loss

by Marge Heegaard

Published by Woodland Press

ISBN 0-9620502-4

A workbook to be illustrated by the child with pictures and colours. There are rough outlines to follow in a kind of free-form colouring book.

A Window Of Time

by Audrey O. Leighton
Illustrated By Rhona Kyrias

Published by Nadja Publishing, 1995

ISBN 0-9636335-1-1

Shawn's grandfather has Alzheimer's Disease but they still love each other and share special times in grandfather's "time machine."

The Memory Box

by Mary Bahr Illustrated by David Cunningham

Published by Albert Whitman Prairie Books, 1992

ISBN 0-8075-5052-3 HC
ISBN 0-8075-5053-1 PB

Zach's grandfather is in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's Disease and together, they save up memories for the "memory box."

Sachiko Means Happiness

by Kimiko Sakai Illustrated by Tomie Arai

Published by Children's Book Press, 1990

ISBN 0-89239-122-7

Sachiko's grandmother is in the later stages of Alzheimer's Disease and a little girl learns both compassion and acceptance as she deals with her grandmother's limitations and special gifts.

Great-Uncle Alfred Forgets

by Ben Shecter

Published by HarperCollins Publishers, 1996

ISBN 0-06-026218-4 HC
ISBN 0-06-026219-2 Library Binding

Emily takes her great-uncle, who has Alzheimer's Disease, for a walk and discovers his unique outlook as well as his limitations.

Copyright © 1995, 1996, 2001, 2008, 2011 Lee Anne Phillips
All Rights Reserved Worldwide

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